1. |
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I know it’s no original thought, these times and difficulties have been
foreseen by scholars and long forgotten science fiction writers for some considerable
period yet I still struggle. Technology isn’t our friend, its selfish and all encompassing
and allows much of what we seek to pass by unawares. I lack conflict, a battle or
oppression. I’m at odds with myself. Privileged by chance of birth and relatively good
health yet I find myself at the bottom of the pile, striving to be understood.
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2. |
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“I myself am an extremist but my reality is in check... for now.” [Ch] You’ve got to punch through the ceiling you know, gear up for some self believing and let it show. [V1] Don’t allow yourself to become a key-ring, doors are closed they aren’t receiving, pull that plaster down off the ceiling, dull the veneers from their sneering, they won’t know if you’re coming or leaving, break through those forbidden floors and its yours. [M8] Sometimes without rhyme or reason, don’t let them hurt/know your feelings, use that motivation keep yourself reeling. Don’t by into that you’re left behind, talent has never predated them making some judgement blink.
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3. |
No, Try Honestly
02:42
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Can I be content being exactly who I want to be to no one. I'm always quick to judge a greasy reprobate in a trenchcoat, in America this conundrum would have a gun, licence to kill in my head isn't an orgy of violence but a sobering death cult, thrumming death drum, drumming death thrum. It's not that I have a lack of belief I know the power and potency I command, the doubt is that no matter the flurry of my punches ot much will land, I'm on record no one can stop me, untouchable just try to keep yourself above me, as tipping the scales in your favour will only give me the higher ground. I may be crass and un-profound but there's a truth and honesty and there's not much of that around.
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4. |
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[Fatherhood] “but I’m not ready, not ready at all. Prime of my time here on this earth, the duality of life.” [V1] I don’t know what to expect I’m scared to death, can i adapt to my own fears, can I live for someone else’s life? With so much beauty nature and soul, I’d hate myself if I were to lose control, my life is no longer my own but that’s a good thing I guess. [Ch] The rat-race can get to fuck, I need to raise my own, I don’t want kitchens and fittings to become interesting, I’m still rebelling in my youth but I guess that’s the ambivalence of impending fatherhood. [V2] None of this will mean the end we’ll still have his smile to share and there is when his heart beats in unison with mine, none of this will mean the end we’ll still have his smile to share.
[Fade to drama] “I can’t cope, I’m doing my best and we’re still getting nowhere, why do you have to make my life so difficult?”
“At least you have a life, I’m trapped I have nothing for me!”
“Look I’m sorry come here”
“Get away from me! GET AWAY FROM ME!” (Baby crying fades in).
[Ch] The rat-race can get to fuck, I need to raise my own, I don’t want club cards to become a priority, I’m still rebelling in my youth but I guess that’s the ambivalence of impending fatherhood. [Ou] Society can get to fuck I need to find my way home, I’m ahead of my time and now I’m being left behind, I’m alive without actually living, without a pulse am I dreaming or breathing, dying is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
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5. |
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[Spoken Word] Soundbed, glasses clinking, and “Hoi, overhere. Alright mate this is..”. It’s too big, too large to comprehend. Pressure building in my head, hydration running from my nose and I feel too small to oppose. Deforestation, true/false I can’t make either work, Ireland and how many football pitches have filled the amazon countless times. How should the UK be a bacteria on an atlas? Yet bugs breed especially on a surface as warm and wet as the earth’s, what are we trying to achieve? Is global commerce that far over my head?
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6. |
Evolved
04:38
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[Evolved] “Have you been left behind?” When everyone has evolved beyond recognition, how come nothing has ever hanged or come to fruition? It’s been so long I’m no longer aware of my position, maybe there is no place for me to be slotted in. With social mobility considered redundant, is there anyone out there who acknowledges that I’ve touched them. I don’t consider myself a poet but wish and crave that others would it wasn’t that long ago I should’ve had my demise. The last loyal disciple lost faith, decided to walk free and away only to be locked inside an infants cage. A responsibility to provide mundanity, unsafe whilst turning leaf, cutting yourself away now is no longer acceptable. And if alcohol poisons your blood it’s no longer your concern, dream until you crash, I won’t watch and learn.I don’t have trouble sleeping at nights but I do have these terrifyingly intense lapses of insecurity. An orange burning bulb, boring through my skull, selfless insomnia trumps a selfish scowl. You’re still my favourite scenario for self mutilation, how would you feel if it was I that was surely over you? [Bridge] Need to keep myself focussed, along this narrow plain, my future is unwritten yet set in fate at the same. [Outro] I’m riding so fast I fear if I may blink that I may miss the good things, this should feel unforgettable. I still have my health, my youth and insanity and there will come a time.
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7. |
Seeds of Doubt
01:00
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[Scene] Seeds of doubt. “Sign up with me mate, c’mon you’re too old and skint for education I’m telling you and besides I reckon the best thing for youse is this, a career move, climb the ladder get a job back home after a few years behind a desk. And as for them! they’re below Moresseys standard of subhuman. Don’t gies that, They have 14th century values but still have the cheek to take from our plate. Look, come with me down to the recruitment office we’ll lay on some charm, guys like us aren’t knuckle draggers we’ll make officers. Think of it as an adventure, You can’t even come for a pint without grief. This is your life and I want you to do it for you.”
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8. |
Cosmogony of Cake
01:55
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[Cosmogony of Cake] When presented with a collective anamnesis of our cosmogony it fills me with askance of this ferly facile obscurantism it’s their vicid gasconade. Deucedly paregemon keep us at bay, keep us retained, keep us ashamed, catechism of encumbrance, question our fate for now is the time interrogatory debate. How much more can we take? I don’t have it that bad but the legacy we inherit is destitute, the carrot ahead of us is fake. How much more can they rake? We can no longer question nor quantify, there will be an instance when they’ll consummate upon your plate.
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9. |
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[Spoken Word] Is it stories in my head or stubborn possibility? I love an underdog story and everywhere I lay my head is a scene waiting to be captured in stunning 70mm film but I strongly disagree with taking photos of everything; here’s my dinner, here’s my prick hungry for neither take your pick. Your photography of the Eiffel tower shares a striking semblance to anyone else’s leaving a digital collage no one has time for. I could raid a shoe box for hours but your Tunisia 2015 Holiday snaps didn’t make the news.
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10. |
Not at War?
00:37
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[Scene] “I’m willing to take up arms any given Sunday to just get away” (Clip from I am a plague, fades with ticking clock).
“Turn that down, we need to talk”.
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Jamie Size Livingston, UK
I'm into collaborating and recording and performing the ideas in my head, not very prolific but I love what I do.
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